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Five Things Miami Sports Fans Are Not Thankful For This Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! Actually — Happy Thanksgiving to everyone but these folks.

Before families gather around the dinner table today to give thanks, we’d like to air some grievances regarding certain people we are certainly not grateful for.

Being a Miami sports fan is no easy feat as it is, but that goes double for the following people.

Without further ado, we present to you five things in Miami sports that we’re really not thankful for this year. 

Nikola Jokic

Miami Heat fans truly hope Nikola Jokic of the Denver Nuggets and his brothers resort to ordering Pizza Hut today. Not only that, but we hope they forget the breadsticks and remember the marinara sauce.

After pushing Markieff Morris from behind and causing him a neck injury, Heat fans are certainly not giving thanks to Nikola Jokic this year. Jokic’s dirty push has caused Morris to miss the past ten games owing to whiplash.

Even worse, Jokic’s brothers took to Twitter to threaten Morris and his twin brother, Marcus. Some truly WWE stuff, and we’re not only not grateful but also just flat-out disappointed.

Tampa Bay Lightning

When the Tampa Bay Lightning aren’t circumventing the NHL salary cap system, they’re out there acting dirty on the ice. For being back-to-back Stanley Cup Champions, they certainly have a lot of pent-up aggression. Tensions are high, to say the least.
The Tampa Bay Lightning clearly feel threatened by the Florida Panthers, and rightfully so. A healthy Panthers squad beat them in the playoffs last year, and if the Panthers maintain their regimen, they’ll end the Lightning’s title run.

We hope you’re stuck in the drive-thru line at Wendy’s today, Tampa Bay Lightning. And when you finally get to order, we sincerely hope the Frosty machine is broken.

New England Patriots

The New England Patriots are the boogeyman that refuses to give up. After decades of looking up to the Patriots in the AFC East, it seemed like the tables had turned when Tom Brady left for Tampa Bay. The Patriots were a wholly average-to-bad team last season and started off this season very unimpressive.

Then, these damn Patriots did it again! They’re literally good again. How is this happening? What did we ever do to these people?

Here is to the brothers-in-law of every Patriot player showing up to Thanksgiving this year and repeatedly asking “How many points is an extra point is worth?”

Chris Grier and Brian Flores

This time last season, many were calling Brian Flores a possible Coach of the Year candidate. This year, he’s headlining one of the worst sagas in Miami Dolphins history.

To be fair, general manager Chris Grier deserves the lion’s share of the blame. Between his horrendous trades, bad draft picks, terrible free-agency signings, and downright refusal to do the right thing by quarterback Tua Tagovailoa, Grier has torpedoed his own rebuild and, before it was even over, has started another.

No Miami Dolphins mess would be complete without mentioning Dolphins owner Stephen Ross. Ross swears to be a hands-off owner until the biggest decisions come into the fold, then he’s as hands-on as they get. The pursuit of a player facing 22 sexual misonduct lawsuits is just the latest example of his ineptitude.

Chris Grier and Brian Flores should be forced to eat a lukewarm Thanksgiving dinner with Tua Tagovailoa and his family. Why? Because it would be the most awkward situation ever, and all by their own doing. Besides, revenge is a dish best served cold.

Tyler Herro Haters

It wasn’t long ago that the general consensus among Heat fans and many outsiders was that Tyler Herro’s trade value had never been lower. Following a failed pursuit to land Brooklyn Nets starter James Harden, the narrative was that the Heat made a huge mistake by not sending Herro away in a potential deal.

Now, Herro is considered the leader in the clubhouse for not only NBA’s Sixth Man of the Year, but if voting occurred today, it wouldn’t be crazy to call him an All-Star. As it turns out, being 19-20 years old in the NBA means the player you are for a couple of months following the oddest 18 months in NBA history isn’t who you will always be. Weird, huh? 

Now that Herro is an indispensable — and affordable — part of a good-looking Heat team, everyone is on board with keeping him in Miami. Let’s hope many learned a valuable lesson here and are giving thanks this year for the trade that didn’t get made. 

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